I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
