Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
