You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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