You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
