Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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