I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
