Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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