tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
