Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
