i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Alive.
So much puke
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
