After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
