Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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