That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
