Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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