We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize