he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
