Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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