People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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