don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
