there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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