he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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