Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
