eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
