Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
