it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize