I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
