Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
