Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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