Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
