His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
