I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
