Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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