Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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