He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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