Come see our sink grown plant.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
