Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just high enough for therapy.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
