You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
