Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
