the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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