OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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