I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
