I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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