are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
