Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
