On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
