I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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