Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
