Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
