I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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