If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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