so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
