you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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