Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
