Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
