Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We are two peas in an std pod
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
