Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
