Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
