The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
