That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
