i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
