Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
