It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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