I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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