What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
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He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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